Thursday, April 28, 2011

it is better to die of bubonic plague!

I am watching this old flick, Four Frightened People . It is a bit of a riot. Four people leave an ocean liner after they find out there is an outbreak of bubonic plague aboard.

They end up on an island infested with cannibals, cobras and naughty monkeys. The funny thing is that the beautiful Claudette Colbert is hidden behind glasses and old bun hair and we are supposed to think she looks like a dowdy school marm. The two men who left the boat with her (Herbert Marshall and William Gargan) seem fooled, they keep referring to her as an old maid and saying rude things to her. The rich and vivacious older and plumper woman played by Mary Boland that is in the group keeps trying to get  the men to notice Claudette "Judy" to no avail.

As the story progresses, Claudette/Judy gets more make up and less old bun hair and yet the men still remain oblivious to her even when she develops a mad crush on one of them because he shot a cobra and saved her life.

After the older lady is taken hostage by the cannabals (she is really not too too upset by it), Judy is off by herself bathing nude in a waterfall (oh you know you would do that if you were stranded on cannabal island with two men) anyway, she is nude as only pre-rating system black and whites can convey. The two men are looking for her to tell her it is time to eat fried coconuts or whatever they made inbetween skinning cheetahs (it appears from their new attire) and they literally LEER at her naked form in the water and very SUDDENLY realize she is like a woman - exclaiming what a trouble it is to have this "blossoming female along".

A naughty monkey steals her clothes (this is SO Cecil B. DeMille, which is no surprise because he directed it) and while one guy tries to chase down the monkey, the other (Herbert) runs into the waterfall claiming she will catch phemonia (good one, dude!) and grabs her naked body, carries her off and YELLS "you're beautiful!" while she flails much like the blonde in the hand of King Kong. She gets away from him and shoos the men away....  but alas her clothes were torn to shreds by the monkey...

Because I suppose the men won't part with their own clothes to help a naked girl cover up, she makes a dress out of leaves...  and I have to say that I think Edith Head designed it because it falls like it is cut on the bias - way to go Jungle Jane!

Anyway, from here on out it gets ever less believable as the older lady who was taken hostage leads an uprising of cannabal wives against the tireny of the men who lustfully make them have way too many babies.... and Claudette learns to spear fish and make lots of cool outfits from Cheetah skins..

In the end they are rescued and go back to England... and Herbert leaves his old wifey for Claudette who now teaches grade school wearing make up...

The moral of the story... it is better to die of bubonic plague!

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